I seem to have left my pride at pride
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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