rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
