She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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