ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
