sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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