You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
