Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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