Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
i now understand why vodka
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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