They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Randomize
