idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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