eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
