drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
