im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
they're like a gay fantastic four
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
