she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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