It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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