As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize
