Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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