i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
