North Korea, Best Korea!
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
