the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
