why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
