Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Randomize
