Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
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