nut hugger
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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