So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
