Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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