I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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