They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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