i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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