new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
