So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
