So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
it wasn't lemon gatorade
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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