I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
