Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
