I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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