My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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