Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Randomize
