I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
