Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
