so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Randomize
