are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
