It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
