I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Someone shit on the floor
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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