they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
