Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
