4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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