so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
At least life still wants to fuck me.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Randomize
