Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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