i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
