My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
